Before you make your resolutions and set your goals, DO THIS first!


So, 2014 is about to come to a close, and I’m sure many of you have been thinking about resolutions you want to set in the New Year. I’m one for planning and setting goals, but late last year, I discovered something that I thought was just genius and I wanted to share it with you today. It may be the ticket that actually guarantees that you strive for the right goals; ones that you will actually enjoy pursuing.

So, what is this new method I’m talking about? Well, it’s from one of my mentors, Danielle Laporte, author of The Desire Map. The Desire Map’s core concept is that, because we set a goal in order to feel a certain way, we need to start from there (the feeling place). She says, “You’re not chasing the goal itself; you’re actually chasing the feeling that you hope achieving that goal will give you.” She calls these feelings, your core desired feeling. When we take this approach, we then set our goals based on how we want to feel. If you take a look at past goals you’ve set for yourself and your business, if asked, “why did you want it”, it really boils down to a feeling. Let’s take a goal to get 10 new clients for your business. It really isn’t just about the 10 new clients, but more about how getting those new clients will make you feel: the desire to reach more people with your product or service, feel accomplished, productive, and of service. Those are the goals you’re really going after, not just the number of clients.

Let’s take another example of a resolution many people have which is to lose weight, say 20lbs. It really isn’t just about the number 20, but really about how losing 20lbs would make you feel: the desire to feel fit, strong, healthy, confident and sexy. So, before you set your resolutions and goals this year, it is critical to establish your core desire feelings first!

Next year, my biggest focus is on my core desire feelings. My specific tangible goals, which are important to have, is now based on my core desired feeling not the other way around. So many times, we subscribe to society’s definition of success and achievement. We then strive to reach it, even though reaching it does not evoke feeling of success for us! You need to understand what success feels like for you, and then align your goals to those feelings. If we take the example of losing 20lbs, and focused on the core desire feelings of being strong, fit, confident and sexy, you can set goals to strength train and work out 3-5x/week, because that’s what it will take to feel that way versus just having a goal to lose 20lbs. Even buying that cute little black dress that hugs all the right places will give you the same feeling! How great is that?!

Another great thing about this is that it allows you to evaluate opportunities that come up through the year. So many times we lose focus on our goals or have the “shiny object” syndrome. However, if you have something to compare the opportunities against, it makes it much easier to decide what is best for you. You are then able to make decisions that are aligned to your values and missions.

When you’re clear on your core desired feelings, you become an “intentional creator” of your life as Danielle puts it. As we all know, we start of the year with great intentions. However, along the way, we may hit some roadblocks. When we focus on our core desires, we are able to recognize when we’re not on it. We can’t control what happens, but we can control our reaction and experience of what happens. Focusing on your core desires allows you in those moments to take back your control and ask yourself; “what can I do to generate my core desire feelings”. This allows you to not be a victim to your circumstances.

Check out my two of my favourite gals in this video (Marie Forleo and Danielle Laporte) talking about the steps to match your goals to your core desired feelings here.

So when setting your goals this year, be clear on why you’re setting your goals and look to match them to your soul’s desires.

Uchechi Ezurike-Bosse is a Business & Lifestyle Strategist, Speaker and Writer, but most importantly, a proud Mother and Wife. Uchechi is Founder of My Empowered Living ( a website aimed at helping women shift their mindset and live their passion! Whether it’s starting and building their dream business, or helping them create a lifestyle they crave, Uchechi is the modern woman’s secret to success! Visit Uchechi at to get her FREE online video training series The 4 Keys to your Business Success! This free 4-day business training reveals her 4 key strategies needed to build a profitable and successful business, and how to put them to work in your business!

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