The Invisible Stone: Why We Sometimes Stumble In Seeing The Results We Want!


In my life, as well as role as a business coach and change consultant, I often come across some ‘invisible stones’ and barriers; I face it sometimes, and I see clients facing it as well. I see situations whereby we are subconsciously not taking responsibility for our actions, and it becomes the invisible stone that causes us to stumble and prevents us from moving forward be it in our lives or businesses.

I was once part of a project that was not moving forward. The project manager and team blamed the leaders for lack of strong leadership and decision making; and the leaders blamed lack of strong project management and employee resistance to change. Standing on the outside, and looking in without any personal agenda, I was able to see things differently. And one thing that was very clear was the ‘lack of ownership and responsibility’. This scenario is very typical in not one, not two, but many organisations.

When we think we are in the right, and someone else is to blame, it makes it more difficult to achieve any goal individually or collectively.

If you are facing chaos on your tasks right now, or finding it difficult to move forward on a personal or business goal, stop for a second and reflect on the below questions.

Be it on a colleague, coworker, friend, partner, parent or the economy, ask yourself:

  • Am I laying the blame at someone else’s feet for why things are not going well?
  • Am I blaming someone else for why I’m not getting the results I want?
  • Am I taking ownership and responsibility for everything that pertains to me and my way of managing my business, or am I holding others responsible?

Consciously or even subconsciously, it is easy to lay the blame somewhere else. Are you blaming your past for lack of progress? Are you blaming a bad economy for your present situation? Are you blaming your parents for something they did or did not do? Are you blaming your race or gender for lack of opportunities?

While I would love to empathise with you, that will not change the situation. Empathy may help you feel good temporarily, but does not get to the crux of the matter or produce results. Whatever situation we are facing, someone else has faced it and is facing it, and yet has not let it hold them back.

We can choose to take ownership for the type of results we want, or fill our minds with why it is someone else’s fault why things are not moving forward as desired. When holding on to a Blame Mindset, which I talk about in my book, The Change You Want, it is difficult to move forward. There will always be that invisible barrier holding us back.

There will be many situations we face and encounter that are out of our control, but how we react, and our attitude is fully and well within our control!

Here are some suggested steps you can take.

  1. Refuse to allow the actions of others demobilise you, stop the blame.
  2. Reflect on your current situation and determine what is within your control and what you can empower yourself to do.
  3. Take ownership and responsibility for your current situation and open your mind for help and to various routes on how to move forward.
  4. Focus your energy on the positive, and on equipping yourself with the skills and resources to help you see the results you desire.

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” – Robert Anthony

To learn about Yvonne’s latest book on Changing your Mindset for greater results, visit

Yvonne is an Author, Speaker, Change Consultant & John Maxwell Leadership Coach who is passionate about working with Individuals, Entrepreneurs and Organisations to help implement change they want and achieve their goals.   

She can be reached at: . .

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